[EAS]Junk Mail Advice
pjk at design.eng.yale.edu
Sun Mar 2 03:37:12 EST 2003
Mail*Link¨ SMTP Junk Mail Advice
Forwarded to me by my colleague Bob Grober: semi-tongue-in-cheek
advice about dealing with junk mail (the paper kind) and with
I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone
solicitors weren't able to call people at home during the dinner hour.
But that doesn't make it any more pleasant. Now Steve Rubenstein, a
writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed "Three Little
Words" based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation that
would stop the nuisance for all time.
1. The three little words are "Hold on, please." Saying this while
putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up
immediately would make each telemarketing call so time consuming those
boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone
company's beep beep beep tone, you know it's time to go back and hang
up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. This might
be one of those articles you'll want to e-mail to your friends.
2. When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, include them with
the payment. Let them throw the stuff away. Think globally, act
3. When you get those pre-approved letters in the mail for everything
from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them
come with postage paid return envelopes, right? Well, why not get rid
of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little
4. Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express, or
a pizza coupon to Citibank.
5. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them
their application back! Just make sure your name isn't on anything
you send them.
6. You can send the envelope back empty if you want, just to keep 'em
Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting
all their junk back in the mail. Let's let them know what it's like to
get junk mail, and best of all...THEY'RE paying for it! TWICE!
Let's support our postal service. They say e-mail is cutting into
their business and that's why they need to keep increasing postage. We
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