[Nhcoll-l] Seasonal Selection 2020

[Patti Finkle]

That was awesome! Thank you for the Holiday cheer!

On Thu, Dec 17, 2020 at 8:31 PM John E Simmons <simmons.johne at gmail.com>
wrote:

> Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of pandemics stays us from the
> completion of our annual poem... #31 in a never-ending series is below for
> your holiday pleasure.
>
> 2020 Vision
>
> (St. Entropy needs his checked)
>
>
>
> ‘Twas the night before Christmas; down the museum halls,
>
> Not a creature was stirring—they were all on Zoom calls.
>
> The stockings were hung (after being steam cleaned,
>
> Due to concerns over COVID-19).
>
> My colleague in her faceshield, and I in my mask
>
> Maintained social distance—we each had our own flask.
>
> The museum was silent, as quiet as a stone,
>
> As I unwrapped our very own Curator DroneTM.
>
> (It flies through the hallways, all smiles and concerns,
>
> But costs only half what a curator earns.
>
> It points out all your errors, just like a consultant,
>
> But solves none of the problems—it’s more an insultant.
>
> Like curators, though, it can sleep in collections,
>
> And never falls prey to biologic infections.)
>
> I’d stocked up on supplies to manage this caper
>
> (And found dissertations make great toilet paper).
>
> Though it had taken a year, I read Defoe through,
>
> And I was no stranger to the plague of Camus.
>
> I’d bought canned beans and puzzles to get through bleak December.
>
> Was there anything else? Not that I could remember.
>
> But then, in a twinkling, with my heart almost cheery,
>
> I heard a strange sound, right upon midnight dreary.
>
> Away to the window I flew in a hurry,
>
> But something was wrong. Was it now time to worry?
>
> The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
>
> Just like Fukushima, was starting to glow.
>
> When, what to my begoggled eyes should appear
>
> But a miniature sleigh led by eight virus-free deer?
>
> The driver, emerging from a sealed plastic canopy
>
> I knew in a moment was our own St. Entropy.
>
> I then heard a crash and a thud and a rapping
>
> And St. Entropy appeared with a swish and a tapping.
>
> His eyes, how they glittered; his smile, so serene;
>
> I hoped he was bringing the new viral vaccine.
>
> He was dressed all in Tyvek, from the mask to the boots,
>
> But this was no year for fur on the suits.
>
> Over his shoulder, he was manhandling a sack
>
> Which he proceeded to open and quickly unpack.
>
> “I bring gifts!” the Saint shouted, “Relief from your woes,
>
> No more you’ll be troubled with ravens and crows!”
>
> My heart slowly sank, my hopes now eroded…
>
> The Old Saint had muddled up corvid and COVID.
>
> The vaccine that he’d carried over mountain and loch
>
> Worked only for smart birds that flew in a flock.
>
> We had plenty of magpies, crows, ravens, and jays,
>
> But none of them live ones; all stored in arrays.
>
> We had to do something. It was urgent. What’s more,
>
> The museum had those volumes of forgotten lore.
>
> We looked up old research and programmed the Drone
>
> To leave our safe shelter and go out on its own.
>
> Away it flew, just like soft down from a thistle
>
> (Okay, maybe not, but it came back when we whistled).
>
> It went to the labs and retrieved new vaccines,
>
> And brought them in safely. Deus ex machines.
>
> The Saint, who had medical training (who knew?),
>
> Injected us all, and flu flew up the flue.
>
> Then, not laying a finger anywhere near his nose
>
> (Kids, don’t touch your face!), up the fume hood he rose.
>
> And I heard him exclaim, as I bolted the door,
>
> “Merry Christmas! And COVID, for you….Nevermore!”
>
>
>
> (Sally Shelton and John Simmons want everyone to stay well and safe, or
> else. Yeah, else.)
> _______________________________________________
> Nhcoll-l mailing list
> Nhcoll-l at mailman.yale.edu
> https://mailman.yale.edu/mailman/listinfo/nhcoll-l
>
> _______________________________________________
> NHCOLL-L is brought to you by the Society for the Preservation of
> Natural History Collections (SPNHC), an international society whose
> mission is to improve the preservation, conservation and management of
> natural history collections to ensure their continuing value to
> society. See http://www.spnhc.org for membership information.
> Advertising on NH-COLL-L is inappropriate.
>


-- 
Patti Wood Finkle
Director of Museums
~Tate Geological Museum
~Werner Wildlife Museum
Casper College
307-268-3026

Correspondence sent to or from this email address is subject to the Wyoming
Public Records Act and may be disclosed to third parties.
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://mailman.yale.edu/pipermail/nhcoll-l/attachments/20201218/e7ef570c/attachment.html>