<div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:tahoma,sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)">Yep... again.</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:tahoma,sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:tahoma,sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)">
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><font size="4"><b>Look! Up in
the sky! It’s a lien! It’s a tort! It’s a fraud!</b></font></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">(St. Nick takes the law into his own furry gloves)</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal"> </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">T’was the night before Christmas, but, all through
the halls,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Not a creature was stirring, and I was taking no
calls.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Not a creature was out or in any way visible;</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Nothing was charming, amusing, or risible. </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">The silence was eerie, not right for the season,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">But, alas and alack, sadly, I knew the reason.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Nothing was there, all throughout the museum:</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">No things were stored where you just couldn’t see
‘em. </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">The galleries were closed, the museum
dispossessioned,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Because all the collections had been deaccessioned.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Of objects and specimens we were completely bereft</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Not a jot or a tittle of either was left.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">The Board had decided they needed more cash,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">So they used the collections to build up their stash.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Too much Antiques Roadshow had warped the big guys, </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">And visions of loot flashed and danced in their
eyes. </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">For the Director, a limo; for Trustees, a new lounge,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">So they wheedled and cadged whate’er they could
scrounge. </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">They drained the endowments, raised the price of
admission,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">And hauled off collections, no hint of contrition.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">All had been crated and taken away</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">With an auction at Sotheby’s planned the next day.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">The curators nestled aghast in the cases,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Huddled in Ethafoam, despair on their faces.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Away to the window, I slouched in a slump,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Tore open the shutters, and got ready to jump,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">When I saw a strange sight, one that made my eyes
jerk</span><span style="font-weight:normal">―</span><span style="font-weight:normal"></span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">A miniature sleigh pulled by eight tiny law clerks.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">With a sharp-suited driver, so lively and quick--</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Could this possibly our good buddy St. Nick?</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">More rapid than summons, his coursers they came</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by
name:</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">“Now Amicus, Docket, now Tort and Opinion,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">On De Facto, on Cy Pres, on Warrant and Minyan!</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">To the top of the roof! To the museum’s big wall!</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Now file away, file away, file away all!”</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">And then in a twinkling I heard a rustling of sheafs</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">As the beady-eyed law clerks reshuffled their
briefs.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">As I drew in my head and climbed down from the sill,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Through the fume hood he popped. He knows that
trick, still.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">But this was not jovial St. Nick known of old</span><span style="font-weight:normal">―</span><span style="font-weight:normal"></span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">This was St. Nick, J.D., Esq., lo and behold!</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">His eyes, how they glittered, as he asked me for
documents</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Then turned to his clerks and said, “Earn your
emoluments!”</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">With a flurry of lawbooks they searched Claus’s
clauses,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Codes of ethics, and policies, with scarce any
pauses.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">There were felonies, errors, all kinds of offenses, </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Misdemeanors aplenty, in all possible senses. </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Although they grumbled and groused and then cussed,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">The Trustees had violated the museum’s public trust.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">As the papers piled up and then soared to the sky,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Nick, Esq., gave the big guys the cold legal eye.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">He spoke not a word, but they knew they’d been
jerks,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">So they pulled out their wallets and started to work<a href="#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" title=""><span class="gmail-MsoFootnoteReference"><span><span class="gmail-MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:107%;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;font-weight:normal">[1]</span></span></span></span></a>.
</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">With a flick of a card, and a beep of a phone,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Object by object, the collections came home. </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">The shelves were restocked, the exhibits were
finished,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">And, thanks to credit cards, the endowment
replenished.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">The big guys were notably sheepish and nervous</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">As we rounded them up for community service.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Nick signaled his clerks to gather around</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">And 1:1 ethanol:eggnog was downed.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Then raising a finger (yes, the one you suppose)</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">And giving a nod, up the fume hood they rose.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Nick sprang to the limo, to his clerks gave a tweet,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">And away they all flew just like scattered
spreadsheets.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere they drove out of
sight,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">“Remember your duty to do what is right.</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">Some things are ethical, others legit,</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">But take our collections? You’ll end up with a writ.”</span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal"> </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt"><span style="font-weight:normal">--<i>John Simmons and Sally Shelton are still waiting
for the statute of limitations on their poetic license to expire</i>.</span></p>
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<div id="gmail-ftn1">
<p class="gmail-MsoFootnoteText"><a href="#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" title=""><span class="gmail-MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-weight:normal"><span><span class="gmail-MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size:10pt;line-height:107%;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;font-weight:normal">[1]</span></span></span></span></span></a><span style="font-weight:normal"> Yes, they had to give statements. When all’s said
and done, </span></p>
<p class="gmail-MsoFootnoteText"><span style="font-weight:normal">We know affidavit is
better than none. </span></p>
</div>
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