Lepidoptera Lexicography vs. Lepidoptera Lasciviousness

[mbpi at juno.com]

Hi there....

While you guys all argue about "correct/scientific/common names," I'm
going to interrupt with a thread of my own for all the bored-silly and
silent gals out there who are hungry for more titillating conversation: 
Butterfly ***SEX***  (Okay, you guys can listen in if you are so
inclined...)

Yesterday, I was certain that the public outdoor butterfly exhibit that I
monitor had sunk to the lowest depths of depravity...until today.  Chalk
it off to a combination of overpopulation in a confined, contrived
environment coupled with an insufferable humidity index...aberrant
butterfly behavior is running wild in the pastoral confines of my
ethereal butterfly "garden!"

For some time, I've noticed that the male Zebra Longwings (and THEY know
who they ARE, "correctly" speaking), have been routinely patrolling the
hanging chrysalides of their sibling species in search of "near-eclosing"
females...an opportunistic strategy employed by them, to mate with newly
emerged "virgins" even before they've had the chance to spread their
wings and fly (!)  An especially "hot" female will often have two or
three randy males gripping her chrysalis in anticipation of emerging
nirvana...  Only one "gets lucky."  I come into work at 7:00 a.m. and
find the persistent, besotted males hooked up to their "intended" in
connubial bliss, though I've never seen the actual "attack."  By the time
I get there, the females' wings are completely inflated and dried, and a
captive partner.

Two days ago, things got bad...there was a dearth of  female Longwings,
so the frustrated and frenzied males were patrolling and confiscating
near-eclosing Queen butterflies (!)  They staked out their "brides" and
gripped their chyrsalides for all they were worth...  I didn't know what
to expect when I came in the next morning.

What I found the next morning were a lot of newly eclosed Queens and one
"successful?" Zebra Longwing who had managed to grasp the abdomen
(albeit, in the "wrong place..") of a newly emerged Queen male, who was
desperately trying to extricate himself AND pump up his underinflated
wings at the same time.  The Zebra Longwing was oblivious to its "missing
the mark," much less to having hooked up with the wrong species (!)  I
tried to intervene for the sake of the male Queen, but the tenacity of
the Zebra L. was more than a match for me.  I gave up and left them to
their deluded depravity.

If that wasn't bad enough, today I walked into the garden and found THREE
male Zebras hooked up to ONE newly emerged female Zebra...talk about
"group sex."   And to  top things off, I also discovered a male Zebra
"necrophiliac" that had broken through the chrysalis of an unemerged
female, and was "going to town" with her corpse...

Are there "support groups" for individuals in my current line of work?! 
Someone suggested I needed to start one....  Instead, I'm reading a book
about the racehorse, Seabiscuit, which takes my mind temporarily off the
"winged beasts" (i.e. no sexual content).

I shudder to think:  What next?!  Perhaps a black shroud over the tent
with a sign stating:  Absolutely NO ONE under 17 admitted without a
parent or guardian!

M.B. Prondzinski
The Depraved USA
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